self-sacrifice through mutual destruction

you sit in the sun and i watch as it warms your face, like the stones by the river. we are still. we have been stagnant for far too long. i'll keep sitting in the shade.

i'll reach out and my nerve endings will meet with yours, transmitting information to our spinal cords. in this brush of fingers, we are being held - united for just one second. close your eyes, i'll keep mine open for you.

sleep well and i'll take watch. the hands on the clock move, seconds ticking by as your eyes move rapidly underneath their covers. layers of soft lashes twitching imperceptibly. a dog twitches in its sleep and you do the same. we are not as separate from animals as we'd like to pretend to be.

intricate customs, crafted to bring us closer together, all the while separating us from the ways of the beasts.

your eyes differ only slightly from those of a deer. my eyes track every movement, whole body twitchy and flighty as a rabbit. it is not often that you show your teeth, but when you smile and the light reflects off your canines, the only thing i can picture is them buried in my carotid - rabbit heart a-thumpin. if we keep still, keep our bodies swathed in fabric, we can turn a blind eye to how our bodies are still those of predators; eyes facing forwards, powerful lungs. humans are unique in their ability to keep going, continue loping long after the prey has run out of breath.

if we have removed ourselves from that cycle and we are no longer predator or prey, where does that urge go? why do we still fear teeth around our neck, and long for the taste of blood in our gums?

we do not mention it. we wrap it under layers of customs, layers of clothes and laws and politeness and pretend that all our wars were more than just an excuse to kill each other.

lay your hand on top of mine and feel the race of my pulse through the veins there. i'll look into your eyes and see your pupils expand. kiss kiss each other's lips and ignore, forget what lies inside of our mouths, the weapons that we hide there. look, it would be so easy to tear me to shreds, to tear you to shreds. i love you, and you love me. we know this. and so we keep them sheathed.

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